This is an episode of Irken Conquest: Season Two
When an Irken Drone lands on Planet Vraal, the Irkens learn of imminent attack from the Vraalskrith. A Vraalskrith Captain named Rakkvarn is to lead a fleet in an attack on The Irken Empire in mere weeks. Will they be ready?
Shiv: *walks into a room filled with officers and takes a seat in the front of the room*
Tix: *does the same*
Yarn: *Walks into the room and takes a seat*
- on a large screen there is the Irken military symbol*
- Xisenin is somehow there, tied to the ceiling with duct tape, he smiles proudly as though he did this on purpose, and he did*
Shiv: Alright, begin the report.
Tix: *looks up and sees Xisenin, then just looks back down*
- the screen flashes to the eye of a probe streaking toward a purple planet with a huge chunk out of it*
- the probe soon breaks through the atmosphere and the camera is engulfed in flame for a minute or two*
Xisenin: Oooh. Pretty.
- the camera clears up and the image of purple rock is everywhere*
Tix: Admiral, I believe there is a... Defective Irken... Taped to the ceiling... *whispering*
- she points up at Xisenin*
- the probe lands, blowing dust into the air*
Shiv: Yes, he's my... Um... Intern.
Xisenin: *hears this and looks at Shiv, nodding*
Tix: Okay then...
- she turns back to the screen
- the probe starts crawling around, observing the terrain.*
- All of the sudden a rock moves open showing a door into a Vraalskrith hive*
- tix types something into a small handheld computer*
- a Vraalskrith comes out of the door to dump some wheelbarrows of rock and debris outside*
Vraalskrith: Xi'rek, Wex Vraalskrith, Praxx Crakk Irk'krill s Zav!
- the Vraalskrith goes back into the caves and the probe crawls in unnoticed*
- The camera shows a huge cave filled with odd metal buildings and vast mining operations*
Shiv: *writes something down*
- the drone crawls into a corner while two guards pass*
Xisenin: Oooh.! Umm. Wait. Shiv, you told me to tape myself up here and use my abilities for stuff. When can i do that?
Shiv: Whenever you need to, Xisenin.
Xisenin: *uses his abilities to draw a yellow mustache on a passing Vraalskrith guard*
Xisenin: He needed that mustache....
- the drone hops off a cliff, going further down into the catacombs*
- Two guards are seen walking along, and a set of subtitles put in by the drone say: The emperor demands our presence. We must make haste.*
Xisenin: Ooh. Interesting. Maybe he wants them to go shopping.
- the probe settles itself on in a crack in the Vraalskrith's armor to follow unseen*
Vraalskrith standing nearby: Xi's Mar'fikk A'ack Kern!
Vraalskrith: *through subtitles* I wonder what bidding the master has planned... War is imminent. My fleet must be readied.
Vraalskrith: *also through subtitles* We shall see.
Vraalskrith: *salutes to the passing ones* *through subtitles* Greetings captain Rakkvarn.
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* Yes...
- Rakkvarn and the one other guard walk into a grand room with a huge throne at one end*
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* Greetings magnificent Emperor Zagraal! *bows low*
- Some sort of robot servant thing follows Rakkvarn inside*
RS-B17: *subtitles* Meep.
Zagraal: *in an odd robotic voice from a stone pedestal on the throne* *in subtitles* Yes, captain... Is the fleet ready to strike?
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* Almost prepared, my lord... One problem is... There is a fleet of Irkens that has began to Jam my communications with them...
RS-B17: *subtitles* Would anyone like a glass of energized mercury?
Rakkvarn: *grabs the glass and drinks it using his mandibles*
RS-B17: Meep. Beep. Buzzzzzz.
Zagraal: *subtitles* the Irkens... Those greedy fools will die... Our armies will march upon Irk. We will soon know the taste of Irken flesh and we will drink Irken blood... Tell your fleet to double in size and move to station 72.
- RS-B17 has the appearance of a flying metal ball the size of a medium softball, with small arms and tools that retract inside*
RS-B17:*subtitles* Yes, uh, they will, the greedy Irken lot...
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* RS-B17, send the message to the fleet.
RS-B17:*subtitles* Yes sir. *retracts arms and flies off*
Rakkvarn: *bows low to Zagraal and marches out of the room*
Zagraal: *subtitles* And Rakkvarn. Do not fail me, or you will face the fate of your predecessor.
- the door to the throne room closes behind Rakkvarn and a bunch of incredibly intricate locks clamp it shut*
RS-B17: *flies up to Rakkvarn, subtitles* The message is sent and received.
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* Excelent. We cannot fail, or we both lose our heads... *walks down the hall with the Irken probe still on him*
RS-B17: *subtitles* Well, I'd lose both my head and my body, cuz they're the same thing.
RS-B17: *follows Rakkvarn*
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* Well we'd both be killed no doubt...
- walks into his quarters and begins typing on a computer and looking at some schematics for Vraalskrith ships and battle tactics*
RS-B17: *Watches this and follows*
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* Hmm... *starts fiddling with the computer some more, looking at battle tactics and the like*
- the Irken probe eye turns to RS-B17 and takes a few photos before turning back*
RS-B17: *wanders around and turns on the cruise-wander mode, and begins to dip and rise excessively and drift around lazily*
Rakkvarn: *looks up a periscope to see that it is night and then gets onto a rack that is his equivalent of a bed*
Rakkvarn: *turns off the lights in the room and goes to sleep*
RS-B17: *activates night vision and drifts around*
- the recording fast forwards to the morning, despite there being no atmosphere to make the sky light*
Rakkvarn: *gets off of his "bed" and plugs in a comlink to his head*
RS-B17: *subtitles* Urggh. Meep. Hmm? *turns off cruise-wander mode and his excessive rising and falling stops*
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* Alright. Time to go to the fleet. *walks out of the room and towards a large hangar*
Rakkvarn: *subtitles* RS-B17, you need to deactivate to be checked by the guards before we get on the ship.
RS-B17: *subtitles* Okay. *deactivates and clunks on the ground*
Rakkvarn: *picks him up and proceeds to a station where some guards are*
- the drone jumps off*
Guard: *shouts in Vraalskrith and begins to shoot at the Irken drone, nicking it in a leg and stranding it on the ground*
- the drone raises an antenna and begins to transmit the recording to Irk*
Guard: * crawls over and takes the drone between to fingers and smiles in the camera* *subtitles* Say cheese! *smashes the drone between his fingers, ending the Irken recording*
- the recording ends, and static plays on the screen back on the Irken space station*
Shiv: Alright... That was very interresting...
Xisenin: That was exciting!!
Shiv: We now know where they will attach, but not when... We must prepare for war.
Tix: Great, another war with some random planet... I can't even count how many times this has happened.
- A spittle runner arrives at the station*
Xisenin: Well, who is that?
Shiv: Ah, here we are... I have invited our aerial ops commander here. YourFavoriteFangirl has left the chat.
Shiv: *stands up and opens the airlock from the hall into the room*
Shiv: Welcome Commander. You're running a bit behind schedule...
- The Spittle Runner flies in, and Mie comes out*
Tix: *goes into hall* Commander Mie, I presume?
- Mie sees Xisenin taped to the ceiling*
Xisenin: Hello, air girl!
Mie: Sorry I'm late.
Shiv: Mie, we have a situation. It seems the Vraalskrith are assembling a fleet near the edge of the Empire. We need you to land a squad on the planet and set up an outpost to watch.
Shiv: We must prepare for war.
Xisenin: Hey. I can build battle robots..
Tix: That might not be such a good idea.
Shiv: Preparations must be made for this inevitable conflict, however... I will send a data cartridge from our space station to Irk... I must see if I can amass a larger fleet in preparation.
Mie: *Walks back over to her ship, and walks to the communications panel*
Tix: Yes, we can't fight all the Vraalskrith by ourselves.
Mie: *Gives several orders through the communicator*
Mie: *walks back out of the ship*
Mie: Okay, they should arrive in..well, soon enough.
Shiv: Captain, I am assigning you a detail in a different sector of our border. You will take another squad to Planet Dirt and set up a temporary space station. We do not know the extent of their attack.
- to Tix*
Tix: Yes, sir.
Tix: *walks to the hangar*
Xisenin: I can have my robots scout around!
- Tix gets in her ship and flies off*
Shiv: Good, good. We will most likely prepare to take an outpost of theirs and attempt to recover more data. Your robots may be of use.
Xisenin: Yes. They're powerful in armies... But can each act as a spy.
Shiv: Good. We'll need them to do both.
Shiv: Now Commander Yarn, you must monitor communications within the Vraalskrith Confederacy. If anything passes our borders, I want to hear about it.
Xisenin: *cuts off the tape, and floats around*
Shiv: Hmph. Dismissed, everyone. I hope to see you at your posts and preparing for war within the next planetary rotation!