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Invader Lard is basically someone who everyone mistakes for Invader Larb. He is really short, about 2 feet. He has not yet been assigned any planet to conquer. Lard can be found aboard The Massive fighting with the soda vending machine, which he says keeps taking his quarters.

He often starts fights with the pilots but doesn't finish them, most of the time getting a black-eye and a wet willy.

He is no longer allowed in the war room since they put up a "You have to be over this height" sign that is 3 feet tall.

His room is in the side pod, the Massive's one weakness. It says outside the Massive in grafitti "shoot here please," and there's a target pointing at his room which the pilots painted there as a prank.

Almighty Tallest Purple often prank calls Lard asking him if his refrigerator is running, or puts a kick me sign on his back. One time on April fools day, Almighty Tallest Red put two crocodiles in Lard's room while he was asleep.

Almighty Tallest Red often tells Lard jokes like "you can only go up to the 1st floor in an elevator" or "you can see your feet in your passport photo because you're short."

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