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ActionHatbotTitle1

When Noir's grainy black-and-white age finally shows, it shows hard. Thus, after a top-hat robot finds new life in the thrilling, blood-pumping universe of Action Movies, his mind is opened to a new world - one that meshes with archaic, incorrect, and sometimes impractical (yet at the same time awesome, explosive, and exciting) views of the future.

Blood. Death. Explosions. Laserbeams. Robots. Pumping Synth.

We interrupt this training session to bring you ACTION HATBOT.

Participating Users Edit

Music Edit

  • Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon - Practically the entire freakin' soundtrack.

Additional Facts Edit

  • Despite how it was unfinished, Cravitus saw the success and popularity of Hatbot Noir - and wanted to take it farther.
  • Originally meant to be another Noir roleplay, perhaps picking up where the last left off, or perhaps a ludicrous expansion including pirates, ninjas, and other nonsense.
  • Thinking of how Alien shifted from straight horror to action-horror with Aliens, Cravitus did something similar with Action Hatbot, from Noir to 80s.
  • A major influence on Action Hatbot was Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, as well as Metal Gear.
  • Roleplay idea conceived 9-26-2015 by Cravitus and Mario.

Gallery Edit

Story Version Edit

N/A

Transcript Edit

Act One/Prologue Edit

Session One - 2/28/2016 Edit

  • 5:08

Cravitus

*One hot afternoon on Hobo 13...* Hobo 556: "-Sergeant? Are you still alive in there?" *The Cybernetic Officer tapped on a simulator door, light flickering from beneath the door.* Hobo 556: "...Averii?" *The room inside seemed to scream at him for a minute before something slammed on a wall.*

5:08

Invader Jib

(in fanon dib is also an insane xenophobe who bullies zim for no reason

(and zim has 300+ girlfriends

5:09

Tail Astronomy

(me

5:09

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Casually walking in*

5:09

Cravitus

Hobo: "Seriously, man, open up."

Hobo: "Can you even hear me?"

*The door banged, and he jolted back.*

Hobo: "...Sheesh, carry on then..."

5:10

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Hey, where's the commander man!? Or whatever his rank is, I dunno.

5:10

Cravitus

*556 noticed Mario.*

5:11

Lil Peridot

Mario: ... Hey, uh.. is Ave around here?

5:11

Cravitus

Hobo: "Oh, it's you two. Yeah, Sergeant Shut-In's been in here for the past few hours."

5:11

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Well go wake him up!

5:11

Cravitus

Hobo: "Whaddya think I've been trying to do?"

Hobo: "If you want to have a crack at it, try yourself, but I've got to get on duty, handle the classes he's missing."

*The Hobo marched off.*

5:12

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: You've gotta put more energy into it, LIKE THIS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *light tap at the door*

Hatbot: Darn.

5:12

Invader Jib

Jib: *Walks in, looking annoyed and bored*

5:13

Cravitus

*Gunfire seems to resound from within the room; quite loud, too.*

5:13

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Knocking on the door, each knock getting harder and harder with impatience*

5:13

Invader Jib

Jib: Right, I can tell I'm probably gonna regret this

5:13

Lil Peridot

Mario: Oh, c'mon Averii.. hurry up.

5:13

Temporal Umbra

(finally

(made a thing

( http://prntscr.com/a98fns

5:14

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: If he's gonna be rude, use your staff.. thingy.. whatever it is. I think it's magic, right?

5:14

Cravitus

*The room seemed to get louder with the sounds of battle, almost like it was trying to ignore Mario.*

5:14

Lil Peridot

(looks pretty cool @derp

5:15

Invader Jib

Jib: Does the room have an attitude?

5:15

Cravitus

(isneat

5:15

Lil Peridot

Mario: Waaaaait... *slowly glances over at Jib*

5:15

Invader Jib

Jib: Oh

Jib: Yeah

Jib: Explanation time

5:15

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Sighs* ... you're here? Outta all the people....

5:16

Invader Jib

Jib: I sent a complaint about my being fired, and they said "lol just go train sum more scrub"

Jib: I think they were being sarcastic but I have nothing better to do

5:16

Lil Peridot

Mario: You know, I'm getting pretty impatient. I'll be able to pay this off, anyways.... *Brings out his staff, firing at the door*

Hatbot: YEA, VIOLENCE SOLVES EVERYTHING! WOOoooo

5:16

Tail Astronomy

( "when your bae gives you a magic staff" -just IC things -

5:16

Cravitus

*The door seems to shrug off the hits, though does eventually begin to glow, getting hot.*

5:16

Lil Peridot

(XDD

5:16

Cravitus

*The room grows louder.*

5:17

Lil Peridot

Mario: *The staff transforms into a sort of mace, smacking the door*

5:17

ButterflyMask

(i would make that a tumblr

5:18

Lil Peridot

Mario: How tough is this freakin' door!?

5:18

Cravitus

*The Door seems fine, but the light within the room vanishes, and it goes silent, save for an angry shout.*

5:18

Invader Jib

Jib: Oh

Jib: I think you broke it

5:18

Cravitus

*You hear rustling, and rather annoyed footsteps, and the door slides open.*

*Inside is a rather disgruntled Ave.*

Ave: "What is it?"

5:19

Lil Peridot

Mario: Ohhhh... hey Ave.

Mario: You need to listen up next time, man.

5:19

Cravitus

*Ave looked at the slightly heated door.*

Ave: "Well, maybe you should've knocked."

5:19

Lil Peridot

Mario: I did.

5:19

Cravitus

Ave: "Knock harder. Now, what do you want?"

5:20

Lil Peridot

Mario: Multiple times, and you-- ehhh, that doesn't matter. Well. I've been wanting to talk with you.

5:20

Cravitus

*Ave began to take out some paneling inside with his PAK, shining a light on some circuitry.*

Ave: "Well, 'bout what?"

5:20

Invader Jib

Jib: I think your commander or whatever wants you to get some air

5:20

Cravitus

*Ave frowned, and glared at what looked like burnt or broken circuits.*

5:20

Lil Peridot

Mario: You've been acting sorta weird lately, y'know? Just wanted to check up on my old... partner... friend... uh, person I know?

5:21

Cravitus

Ave: "Yeah, the concern's appreciated," He grunted, yanking it out, "But I'm fine. Really."

*Ave narrowed his eyes at the circuits, and groaned.*

Ave: "UESTOX!" He shouted out the door.

5:21

Invader Jib

Jib: Who-

5:22

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I bet it's gonna be a super buff body guard, and he'll kick Jib out cause he's too weak for this intense training.

5:22

Loniceran

Uestox: A young Irken runs in with his tools, bumping the rest of the people out of the way. "Y-yeah! What you need..?"

5:22

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I'm probably right. I'm always right- oh. Close enough.

5:23

Cravitus

Ave: "A couple geniuses here knocked some circuits loose, a couple things overloaded. While you're still here, could you work on that for me?"

*Ave jerked his thumb towards the exposed paneling.*

5:23

Temporal Umbra

(finished coloring

5:23

Lil Peridot

Mario: Wooow. Nice to see your sass hasn't changed, Ave.

5:23

Temporal Umbra

( http://prntscr.com/a98id6

5:23

Cravitus

Ave: "Well excuse me, princess."

5:23

Lil Peridot

(looks pretty gud

5:24

Cravitus

(ave: *gets smacked*

5:24

Lil Peridot

(is ave cdi link now-

5:24

ButterflyMask

(canon

5:24

Temporal Umbra

(more like

5:24

Loniceran

Uestox: He looks at the broken circits.. something he's seen before. Not too hard. "Yeah yeah.. not hard at all! I'm on it..."

5:24

Temporal Umbra

(tv show link

5:24

Cravitus

Ave: "Alright, thanks."

5:24

Invader Jib

Jib: Wait so how does hitting a door break the circuits-

5:24

Cravitus

*Ave groaned, and stretched, rolling his arms up.*

5:24

ButterflyMask

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXvdktTMMgs

5:25

Cravitus

Ave: "Energy moves in waves, Jib."

Ave: "For example, say, a piece of meat in a can,"

5:25

Loniceran

Uestox: "Well, multiple resons and what not could come to play... I guess it depends on the door, the circits, the strength of the blow, how much.." He kneels down and starts working with the wires.

5:25

Cravitus

Ave: "While you can use some sort of microwave beam emitter or whatever on the can and keep the metal 'bout the same temperature or something,"

5:26

Temporal Umbra

(you know what

5:26

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I DON'T GET IT. Meat's electric!? I'm never eating that stuff again!

5:26

Temporal Umbra

(im gonna eat some pasta

5:26

Cravitus

Ave: "The meat inside'll be pretty cooked."

5:26

Temporal Umbra

(brb

5:26

Cravitus

*Ave shrugged.*

Ave: "I trained to fight, not to work in R&D."

*What little of Ave's visible skin seemed to be covered in bruises.*

5:27

Lil Peridot

Mario: You ok, Ave? Looks like you got bruised up a bit.

5:27

Cravitus

Ave: "Nothin' much, just hard work."

5:28

Invader Jib

Jib: It looks like you fell off a cliff

5:28

Cravitus

*Ave seemed to shift defensively, almost on instinct.*

5:28

Invader Jib

Jib: Err I mean, like someone pushed you and it wasnt your fault-

Jib: Ill shut up now

5:28

Lil Peridot

Mario: You sure you're fine?

5:29

Cravitus

Ave: "Yeah. Light can't kill you, even hard light."

*Ave paused.*

Ave: "Well, 'cept for lasers."

*Ader swerved around the corner, and atop his head was Vil, and in her arms, BLU's head.*

5:29

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: He's acting like a Noir character when-- actually. I've seen like every Noir in existence.. it's not the same anymore.. *sigh, frowning*

5:30

Loniceran

Uestox: "O-oh... Um.." He pauses, a bit startled at something. "This is dangerous..."

Uestox: "This is really likely to spark... are you sure you want me to keep going?"

5:30

Cravitus

Ave: "But yeah, I should be fine, I mean, I left the safety settings all on."

Ave: "Totally did."

5:30

Lil Peridot

Mario: Hey wait a minute, was that Vil-

5:31

Cravitus

*Ader swerves back around, and stops, Vil hanging on for dear life.*

Vil: "Hi-"

5:31

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Looked like a crab to me. Unless Vil looks like a crab. Maybe they're the same. I don't know.

5:31

Cravitus

*Ader dumped them onto the ground feet-first, and skittered off, screeching something about food.*

5:31

Lil Peridot

Mario: Oh, hey Vil.

5:31

Cravitus

*Vil blinked a few times, somewhat stunned.*

Vil: "Uh... Yeah, hi, Mario."

*She got up, and dusted herself off, putting BLU's head on the ground and picking up a box.*

5:32

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: What's Ave's secretary doing here!? YOU COULD BE MISSING IMPORTANT BUSINESS CALLS!

5:32

Cravitus

*Vil shot Hatbot a look, and opened up a box, revealing some nachos.*

Vil: "I brought you some lunch, er, Sir."

5:32

Loniceran

Uestox: He goes back to the wires, picking up another tool. "Well.. if you say so.."

5:33

Cravitus

*Vil offered some food, and BLU rolled around on the ground for a moment, disoriented.*

BLU: "RECALIBRATING... POSITION... ERROR."

5:33

Invader Jib

Jib: Oh those were for him

5:33

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Me? Well I appreciate the offer, but I don't accept the cheap nachos, lady. It's gotta be extra spicy, and made from the grains of.. some foreign place, something like that. Yeah.

5:33

Invader Jib

Jib: *slowly puts a nacho back*

5:33

Cravitus

*Ave took some lunch, and offered a plate to Uestox.*

Ave: "Well, thanks, Vil."

5:34

Loniceran

Uestox: ? He looks at the plate, happily grabbing it. "Thanks much!"

5:34

Cravitus

Vil: "I thought you might be getting hungry, after spending, what was it..."

Vil: "Twelve hours in the simulator?"

BLU: "SIXTEEN-AAARGH-"

*BLU got stuck facedown at Mario's feet.*

5:35

Lil Peridot

Mario: .. Is Blu okay-

5:35

Cravitus

Ave: "He'll be fine."

5:36

Invader Jib

Jib: Sixteen hours?

5:36

Cravitus

Vil: "Yes, sixteen. You know, you should probably take a longer break after you eat, sir-"

Ave: "-I'm fine, really."

5:36

Invader Jib

Jib: Well, I mean, I spent 14 hours laying in my own misery yesterday, so I guess I can't judge

5:37

Cravitus

*Ave wolfed down his plate of food, and placed it on the ground.*

Ave: "Mario, toss me BLU's head, will you?"

5:37

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I spent 14 hours with the SAME Noir re-runs! It was awful! They didn't even have the good ones, either. You guys had it easy.

Mario: Errrr, sure..

Mario: *Picks up BLU's head, tossing it over to Ave*

5:38

Invader Jib

Jib: Then I spent the next few hours contemplating my continued existence

5:38

Cravitus

BLU: "NYEAARAHG-"

*Ave catches BLU, stares at him for a moment, and smacks him against the wall hard enough to leave a dent.*

Ave: "There we go."

5:38

Lil Peridot

Mario: Woah! What the heck, man?

5:38

Cravitus

*BLU stops screaming.*

5:38

Loniceran

Uestox: "...H-hey? What did you do?" He turns around, distracted.

5:39

Cravitus

BLU: "Calibration complete."

Ave: "Nothin', don't worry."

*Ave turned over BLU's head, and looked to Vil.*

Ave: "Any new... Er, data?"

5:39

Lil Peridot

Mario: I'm sure there's other means of fixing BLU, that kinda seems messed up..

5:39

Cravitus

Vil: "Yes, actually, we-"

BLU: "Latest Narcissus II Probe Data loaded and prepared for simulation implementation."

BLU: "Recommend that you-*

5:40

Loniceran

Uestox: ! "Aee! No, turn that off!"

5:40

Cravitus

*Ave smacked BLU again, and they began to growl uncontrollably and their eye shifted around, unfocused.*

Ave: "THAT's enough out of you, sorry."

*Ave opened a port in the back of BLU's head, and removed a chip before tossing it back to Vil.*

5:41

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Are you scared of robots or something? If so, I'm greatly offended and I demand you respect my coolness.

Hatbot: Cause robots are pretty flippin' awesome!

5:41

Cravitus

Ave: "Mhm."

*Ave turned the chip over in his hand a few times, and glanced over to Uestox.*

5:42

Loniceran

Uestox: "I'm actually concerned about the safety here... after all, the robot could've done something to the programming of this block.."

5:42

Lil Peridot

Mario: Uh... Ave, what're you doing?

5:42

Cravitus

Ave: "The safety's fine."

5:42

Loniceran

Uestox: "And with this raw wire out here, who knows what he could do?"

5:42

Cravitus

Ave: "In his current state, I doubt BLU's going to be able to do much."

*Ave attempted to ignore Mario.*

Ave: "So, where are we on those repairs? We good to go, or what?"

*He seemed anxious.*

5:43

Lil Peridot

Mario: Hey -- I'm talking to you, Ave. *Glaring at Ave*

5:43

Cravitus

Ave: "Yeah?"

5:43

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Slowly rephrasing his previous question* What -- are -- you -- doing.

5:43

Cravitus

*Vil hesitantly picked up BLU's head, and looked him over herself.*

Ave: "Nothing much."

5:44

Loniceran

Uestox: "Well.... here's the thing. I don't trust it- the-the 'repairs'? I don't think..."

5:44

Cravitus

*He rubbed his left eye gingerly, almost as if it was sore.*

Ave: "Just don't worry about it, Uestox, I just need it to run."

*Ave went back to overlooking the chip.*

5:45

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Tugging Jib over, lowering his voice* Keep an eye on Ave, 'kay?

5:45

Loniceran

Uestox: "If you say so.. then, in that case, it's almost there.."

5:45

Invader Jib

Jib: UMMM *whispers to mario awkardly * I THINK AVERRI HAS SOME KIND OF ADDICTION

5:45

Cravitus

Ave: "Alright."

5:45

Lil Peridot

Mario: ... wh-- ?? Jib! Shut up! *Pushing Jib way*

5:45

Cravitus

*Vil sat down, and looked at BLU for a minute, sighing, and he seemed to calm down.*

5:46

Invader Jib

Jib: Okay I could have said that quiter

*quieter

5:46

Cravitus

BLU: "R-Recommend a-dditional... Pr-Probe data."

5:46

Loniceran

Uestox: He finishes his plate while he goes back to hesitantly working again...

5:46

Cravitus

BLU: "Narcissus II data i-insuffici-insufficient."

5:46

Temporal Umbra

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6bjq8HC_iQ

(byootiful

5:47

Invader Jib

Jib: 9 out of 10 irken doctors say that over 10 hours of simulation is unhealthy

5:47

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Slowly grins* Heyy... BLU, can ya tell me about Narcissus Two?

5:47

Loniceran

Uestox: "I still dont trust that robot..."

5:47

Invader Jib

Jib: 9 out of 10 doctors also told me I need to get a life-

5:47

Cravitus

*Ave's eyes widened, and he looked at mario.*

5:47

Loniceran

Uestox: "Aee! No, you idiot! Big big big idiot!"

5:47

Cravitus

Ave: "Now, you don't want to do that-"

*BLU's eye seemed to focus again, and it projected a hologram of a watery world, with loads of data scrolling down around it.*

5:48

Invader Jib

Jib: Too late

5:48

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I don't know what Mario's talking about. BUUUT, I'm pretty sure the only idiot here is me. Or Jib, we're pretty similar, except I'm not much of a nerd.

5:48

Loniceran

Uestox: Grabbing a wrench, he stands up.

5:48

Cravitus

*A few pictures and videos seemed to float around, and a portrait of a rather familiar blue-eyed female appeared to Mario.*

*A spot on the planet began to pulse red.*

5:49

Invader Jib

Jib: oh

Jib: oooh

5:49

Cravitus

Ave: "Vigil! Shut him up or turn him off!"

5:49

Lil Peridot

Mario: *His eyes widen, catching the portrait* Ohhhh boyyy....

Hatbot: HEY! It's that girl that got completely obliterated in my cool simulation!

5:49

Cravitus

*Vil nervously fidgeted, and tossed BLU at a cactus.*

*BLU screeched, and stopped projecting.*

5:49

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Wonder why she's on there?

5:49

Loniceran

Uestox: "Achhhk... Come on, come on!" ;;

5:50

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Pretty neat coincidence, though.

5:50

Invader Jib

Jib: Ohhh...so it's the type of addiction where you're depressed and all

Jib: I'll call a space physiologist

5:50

Loniceran

Uestox: "..I don't trust you either, little guy!" He points his wrench like a finger at Hatbot.

5:50

Cravitus

Ave: "Shush, Jib."

*Ave turned to mario, and his eyes glared daggers.*

5:51

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: WHAT!? BUT I LOVE EVERYONE!

5:51

Cravitus

Ave: "You saw nothing. We clear?"

5:51

Lil Peridot

Mario: Woah, woah, calm down. Hatbot? Harmless. He's pretty nice, too.

5:51

Invader Jib

Jib: I wouldn't know what that's like *nervously munches on a chocolate bar*

5:51

Lil Peridot

Mario: Nothing to be afraid of. Uestox, was it?

5:51

Loniceran

Uestox: "..Well, at least you pronounsed it right.."

5:52

Cravitus

*Ave groaned, and held the chip up again.*

5:52

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Glaring at Ave for a moment* I certainly saw something, but if it calms ya down... sure.

5:52

Cravitus

Ave: "Alright, Uestox, how close are we?"

Temporal Umbra has left the chat. 

Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. 

5:53

Loniceran

Uestox: "..Really close. Just one more adjustment."

5:54

Cravitus

Ave: "Alright."

5:54

Loniceran

Uestox: "Sorry, sorry.. for being distracted." He sits back down and sets the wrench back in the toolbox.

5:54

Cravitus

*Ave got up and walked in, and began stretching, waiting eagerly, setting the chip down on the ground.*

Ave: "It's fine, I can wait a bit longer."

Ave: "Preferable to get things rolling now, though...*

5:55

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Can you show us around? I'm boooooored!

5:55

Cravitus

*Vil picked up BLU's head again, and nervously walked in as well.*

Vil: "Y-You know, I could help, maybe..."

Vil: "I-I can fight-"

Ave: "That's a negative, kid."

5:56

Loniceran

Uestox: He shuts the panel for the circits and stands back up. "All done, s-sir!.."

5:56

Cravitus

*Ave turned, relieved.*

Ave: "Ah, are we? Thanks!"

*Ave reached into his pocket, and handed him some cash for his trouble.*

5:57

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I'M SOOOO BORED. AAAAAAAAA *rolls off Mario's head, and then around in circles on the ground*

5:57

Loniceran

Uestox: "Thanks much!" He places the cash in a small purse inside of the box.

5:57

Cravitus

*Vil persisted.*

5:58

Invader Jib

 Jib: Hm

5:58

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: AAAAAAAAAA- *Bumps into something*

5:58

Invader Jib

Jib: I don't think I could get out of this if I wanted to

Jib: *casually walks in the simulator*

5:58

Cravitus

Vil: "I have a RIGHT to help you with this, d-uh, Sir!"

Ave: "What do you mean, a right?"

Ave: "This is my fight, Vil, not yours."

5:58

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Looks at Vil and Ave*

Hatbot: *Then back at the ground, to what seems to be a chip*

5:59

Cravitus

Ave: "Besides, if you don't watch Ader, he's liable to eat something valuable."

Vil: "...Ader? Really?"

Vil: "That's why you don't want me to come?"

6:00

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Lowering his voice* Ohmygoshhhh.... is this -- it's the new movie format! I bet there's all types of movies on here, like Action! Or Noir! Or Action-Noir! Or something spacey and cheesey. That'd be lame though.

Hatbot: *Shrugs, taking the chip, and rolls away blankfaced*

6:00

Cravitus

Vil: "Granted, he'd probably do that."

6:01

Loniceran

Uestox: He stares at Hatbot.. though, he didn't hear him... he's suspicious.

6:01

Cravitus

Ave: "Which is why you're going to watch him!"

6:01

ButterflyMask

(ActionHatbotTitle1.png can we talk about how the lurk in the background was the funniest thing ever

6:01

Cravitus

(lurk: just how firm is that ass

6:01

Invader Jib

(he is questioning his sexuality

6:01

Tail Astronomy

(legs so fot you hry and egg

6:02

ButterflyMask

(om G

(lurk x ave's ass

6:02

Temporal Umbra

(lurk is like

(where da b00ty

6:02

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Walks in, sighing*

6:02

ButterflyMask

(lurk: where the mali booty at tho

6:02

Invader Jib

(also it looks like entra is annoyed with lurk

6:02

Cravitus

(that's vil-

6:02

Lil Peridot

Mario: Wait, where's Hatbot? Ehhhh... probably just tapping a desk or somethin'.

6:02

ButterflyMask

(om

6:03

Lil Peridot

(lol

6:03

Cravitus

Ave: "What if he eats a fuel cell?"

6:03

Invader Jib

(oh

6:03

Cravitus

Ave: "What then?"

6:03

Invader Jib

(they look similar

6:03

Cravitus

Ave: "What, are you going to trust him with the Doc?"

Vil: "N-No!"

6:03

ButterflyMask

(omg i just noticed the "SEDUCE ME JIB" picture in the background

6:04

Temporal Umbra

(i noticed it

6:04

Invader Jib

(that ruins the whole picture

6:04

Lil Peridot

(no

6:04

Invader Jib

(notp

6:04

Cravitus

(it perfects the whole picture

6:04

Lil Peridot

(it makes it better

6:04

ButterflyMask

(lurk will be eternally funny tho

6:04

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Eventually stops rolling, and stares at the chip*

Hatbot: Hmmmmmmm....

6:05

Cravitus

Vil: "And how would he eat a fuel cell?"

Ave: "Have you even seen his teeth-"

Vil: "A fuel cell, Ave!"

6:05

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Fiddles with the chip* ... Oh, I'm so dumb!

6:05

Cravitus

Vil: "A fuel cell!"

Ave: "It could happen!"

Ave: "He could probably bite through it in one go, too!"

6:05

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Fiddles with it some more, and eventually plugs it into him*

6:06

Cravitus

Ave: "Though, I never see him brushing..."

Vil: "...What were we talking about-"

6:06

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Shakes a little bit* Ooooohhhh! THIS-- THIS IS...

Hatbot: Actually pretty lame.

6:06

Cravitus

BLU: "NARCISSUS TWO-TWO-TWO-TWOOOOO-"

*BLU began to screech, and Ave smacked him.*

Ave: "Stop that."

6:07

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I'm gonna change it... TO SOMETHING HATBOT-WORTHY!

6:07

Cravitus

BLU: "Affirmative."

6:07

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Why didn't I think of something like this? I'm still talking to myself? Still fun as always.

6:07

Loniceran

Uestox: He walks over to Hatbot, leaning down to pick him up.

6:07

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Let's see, how about some cool Noir! Wait -- no! Noir ninjas! PIRATES!

Hatbot: Waaaaait, nah.. I've got something way better-

Hatbot: OH! Hey, engineer guy!

6:08

Loniceran

Uestox: He snatches him up, turning his face to his own. "What kind of evil plan are you mustering, huh? I know what you're made of!"

6:08

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Aren't you supposed to go home right now... or something..

6:09

Temporal Umbra

( tumblr_o3ab1snIMq1v1d5mlo5_250.jpg

(byootiful

6:09

ButterflyMask

(me

6:09

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: WHAT? I'M JUST A HAT, MAN.

Hatbot: LET ME LIVE MY NOIR IN PEACEEEE!

6:09

Loniceran

Uestox: "I have another appointment at preisely 5:02 PM and 31 seconds sharp. It's tomorrow. I have nothing to worry about."

Uestox: "I'm more conserned about you right now.....you look like the face of fear."

6:10

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: BECAUSE YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT MAN! YOUR FACE IS ALL UP IN MY CRIMSON GOODNESS EYES

6:10

Cravitus

(hatbot: *demon growling noises* i'm lovable

6:10

Loniceran

Uestox: "Don't act innocent!! You have something!"

6:10

Lil Peridot

(lol

Hatbot: AAAAA *arm flailing* I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

6:11

Invader Jib

 Jib: Okay so are we gonna do this already?

Jib: Or..something

6:11

Lil Peridot

Mario: What?

6:12

Loniceran

Uestox: "The name - Uestox. Job, Nomad Mechanic, 24/7 guarenteed positive work and service. Specializer of snooping out the bad little quirks of machines, like yourself!"

6:13

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Tearing up* WHAT? WHY'RE YOU LECTURING ME? WHAT DID I DO!? *whining*

6:13

Cravitus

Vil: "Is Jib being a nerd again?"

6:13

Loniceran

Uestox: "Hand me the plo--PLANS! You have them. I see it." That was such a cool protagnist intro.

6:14

Invader Jib

Jib: Yeah-w-well-YOU GUYS ARE THE NERDS

6:14

Cravitus

Ave: "...You still aren't coming."

Vil: "NEEEERD-"

6:15

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Looks around, wiggling his arms, and accidentally smacks Uestox in the face*

6:15

Loniceran

Uestox: "Don't play the big tears card! Or .exe, if that's what's in your programing... your EVIL programing."

Uestox: "--EVIL!!"

6:15

Cravitus

*Vil chucked BLU at Jib, and BLU rolled over by the door.*

6:15

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: LEAVE ME ALONEEEE *Falling down, rolling away*

6:15

Cravitus

BLU: "CALIBRATION ERROR-"

6:15

Invader Jib

Jib: *Rubbing his good eye* was that necassary

6:15

Cravitus

BLU: "SPACIAL POSITIONING ERROR-"

Vil: "Yes."

6:15

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Going over to inside the simulation room*

Hatbot: I DON'T EVEN WANT THIS ANYMORE. Too much trouble for me! It wasn't even that cool, anyways.

6:16

Loniceran

Uestox: "..Aee! What do I do?!" He runs to pick up his toolbox, running after Hatbot.

6:16

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Sees some sort of panel* Huh? I think that's where I found it. I dunno.

6:16

Cravitus

Ave: "...You know that he's not a basketball, right?"

Vil: "You know he's not invincible, right?"

Vil: "You know, smacking him against things probably isn't helping him-"

6:17

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *rolls onto BLU's head, and uses him as a foot stool* Hatbot: *Barely reaching the panel, trying to poke it in* Oh come on! I don't even want this anymore.

Mario: *Eyeing Hatbot* Wait, what--

6:17

Cravitus

Ave: "Chucking him at people isn't helping him-"

6:17

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: *Plugs it in* THERE! I didn't even like it, anyways.

6:18

Cravitus

*Ave glanced over to BLU, and saw Hatbot.*

Ave: "Oh, you cheeky little-"

6:18

Loniceran

Uestox: "You!" He dramatically points from a short distance away. The light gives off a cool effect....in his head.

6:18

Lil Peridot

Mario: Hatbot! You shouldn't of ran off like that.

6:18

Cravitus

 *The simulator doors shut, and something breaks; everything goes dark.*

6:19

Invader Jib

Jib: Here we go

6:19

Loniceran

Uestox: ... .... He slowly closes the box and straps it to his back.

Uestox: "Mister? I should go fix it..."

6:20

Cravitus

*Something clanks, and power hums, and a blinding light fills the room.*

6:20

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I DID SOMETHING AGAIN.

6:20

Cravitus

 *The sound of Little Richard screaming 'Long Tall Sally' fills the 'room'... Along with the sound of Helicopter Blades.*

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFFgbc5Vcbw

6:21

Loniceran

Uestox: "Oh...my..."

6:21

Cravitus

Ave: "HATBOT, I'M GOING TO DISSASSEMBLE YOU-"

*Ave rubbed his eyes, trying to adjust to the light.*

6:22

Lil Peridot

Mario: What's up with this song -- and -- oh god...

6:22

Cravitus

*The light began to fade, and indeed, they were (at least most of them) were in a helicopter bay.*

6:22

Invader Jib

Jib: By the way there's no way I'm doing this for seventeen hours

Jib: Wait WHY IS MY ARM A MACHINE GUN-

6:23

Lil Peridot

Mario: HATBOT! Where is he!? *Trying to feel Hatbot on his head, but nothing's there*

6:23

Loniceran

Uestox: "...I saw an anime like this once..."

6:23

Lil Peridot

Mario: Guys, where'd Hatbot go!?

6:23

Cravitus

*Ave finished rubbing his eyes, and his left hand seemed to whirr as he squinted.*

6:23

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I'm right here, you nerd. *Hatbot seems to be on Mario, as a pair of shades with glowing red on one of the lenses*

6:24

Cravitus

Ave: "Well, great."

6:24

Lil Peridot

Mario: WHAT!?

Mario: What's going on?

6:24

Cravitus

Ave: "Isn't it obvious?"

Ave: "Your robot's screwed everything up again."

6:24

Loniceran

Uestox: He starts to mock, "He's innocent! He's sweet, he won't hurt a thing!"

6:24

Cravitus

Ave: "Indeed."

6:24

Lil Peridot

Mario: *Looking around, at eventually at his clothes* What.. am I wearing..

6:25

Invader Jib

Jib: I'm wondering why 90 PERCENT OF MY BODY IS METAL

6:25

Lil Peridot

Mario: Oh, be quiet! It's not HIS fault Ave leaves important stuff on the ground!

6:25

Cravitus

*Ave shrugs, and it suddenly becomes apparent to everyone but him that his left eye has become a black void with a glowing dot.*

6:25

Loniceran

Uestox: "Idiot, idiot, IDIOT!" He points directly to Mario and Hatbot.

6:25

Invader Jib

Jib: Well..it WAS his fault he picked it up

6:25

Cravitus

*Suddenly, BLU's voice rang out from Ave's eye.* BLU: "AFFIRMATIVE."

6:25

Lil Peridot

Mario: Yeah, keep callin' me an idiot, and see where it gets you pal.

6:25

Cravitus

Ave: "...Why is my eye talking-"

6:26

Loniceran

Uestox: "That thing will get it by the end of this run! I knew he was going to be trouble."

6:26

Cravitus

BLU: "STATEMENT: I AM THE EYE."

6:26

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Guys, guys! You have to admit, this is pretty sweet. We look so cool!

*All the words Hatbot is saying, seems to be projecting onto one of Mario's lenses in a faint red*

6:27

Cravitus

*BLU/Ave's eye began to swing around, staring at everyone intently.*

6:27

Loniceran

Uestox: "..Okay, yes, we do.." He looks at himself and his theme-matching outfit. "But.."

Uestox: "I was also trained for these situations..."

6:27

Cravitus

Ave: "We all were, but I'm gonna cut this short."

Ave: "COMPUTER! END SIMULATION."

Silence answered him.

6:28

Loniceran

Uestox: "...Of course."

6:28

Cravitus

Well, that and Little Richard.

Ave: "...This crap again."

6:28

Loniceran

Uestox: "...Again?"

Invader Jib has left the chat. 

6:28

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: This music is freakin' sweet! I knew action-space stuff would be WAYYY cooler than Noir..

Hatbot: For once, anyways.

6:28

Cravitus

*The chopper continued to fly, and the clouds around it began to dissipate, though they sky beyond them was a rather ominous blood red.*

6:38

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Gotta say, Jib still looks like a nerd though.

6:38

Cravitus

*Ave looked at jib, studying him for a moment.*

Ave: "Eh, kinda-sorta.*

6:38

Invader Jib

Jib: I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A NERD

6:38

Loniceran

Uestox: "Agh....get those ugly sunglasses off, yes?... He's annoying.. and the cause of all THIS."

6:39

Invader Jib

Jib: YOU GUS ALL LOOK LIKE MEGA NERDS

6:39

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Yea! That's right Vil, he's a huge nerd--

6:39

Cravitus

*Ave smirked, and crossed his arms, looking at himself.*

6:39

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: WAIT! VIL'S NOT HERE!

6:39

Cravitus

Ave: "You're just jealous because I look good-"

*Ave paused.*

6:39

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: MY NERD-ENING IS A VOID WITHOUT HER.

6:39

Cravitus

Ave: "Wait, what?*

6:39

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: NOOOO!

6:39

Cravitus

*Ave looked around the small chopper.*

6:39

Invader Jib

Jib: YOU'RE JEALOUS THAT YOUR ARM ISNT A MACHINE GUN-

6:40

Cravitus

Ave: "Jib, not now!"

Ave: "Vil, sound off!"

6:40

Invader Jib

Jib: Oh right the daughter or something

6:40

Lil Peridot

("you gus all look like nerds" - jib

6:40

Cravitus

Ave: "Vil, damn i-"

Ave: "I don't have a daughter!"

6:40

ButterflyMask

(jib tries to be cool - the rp

6:40

Cravitus

*Ave yanked at his antennae, stressed...*

6:40

Invader Jib

(accur8

6:40

Cravitus

*And noticed his left hand was mechanical.*

6:41

Lil Peridot

Mario: That sounds extremely inconvenient Jib, and frankly... really dumb...

6:41

Cravitus

Ave: "Oh, hey, robo-hand."

6:41

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: The machine gun is cool! The whole Jib part isn't, though.

6:41

Invader Jib

Jib: OH YEAH

6:41

Cravitus

*Ave stared at his own for a minute.*

6:41

Invader Jib

Jib: WELL IT'S CONVENIENT FOR DOING THIS-

6:41

Cravitus

Ave: "...You know, if this was a machinegun, that'd actually be pretty cool, I admit-"

6:41

Invader Jib

Jib: *attempts to shoot mario's foot, but it deflects off the floor and hits jib's own foot*

6:41

Lil Peridot

Mario: Wait, what was that about a daughter Ave-

6:42

Invader Jib

Jib: AGH OKAY MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT-

6:42

Cravitus

Ave: "MERCIFUL TALLEST-"

6:42

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I think he called Jib his daughter.

Hatbot: Weirdo...

6:42

Cravitus

*Suddenly, the doors to the helicopter slid open, and a Little Richard finally stopped singing.*

6:42

Lil Peridot

Mario: Really Jib...?

Mario: That was pretty sad-

6:43

Invader Jib

Jib: Don't judge me

6:43

Loniceran

Uestox: "...I'm in a group of idiots! No, no, no!...Ahhk..."

6:43

Cravitus

???: "Rise and shine, people!" The chopper radio crackled.

6:43

Loniceran

Uestox: "....I don't want-"

6:43

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: HEY! I'll have you know I have the most knowledge on movies in existence.. well not really, but in this group!

Hatbot: You're the dummy!

6:43

Cravitus

*Ave seemed to recognize the voice.* Ave: "...Talbolt? That you?"

6:43

Loniceran

Uestox: "I've watched more movies, anime, and TV shows that you can even comprehend!"

6:44

Cravitus

Talbolt: "Who else, Lieutenant?"

*Ave's eyes widened.*

Ave: "Uh, this might be important..."

6:44

ButterflyMask

(uestox: ILL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM A HIGH CLASS WEABOO

6:44

Loniceran

(yes

6:44

Cravitus

*He nudged Mario.*

6:44

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I have over 500 Noir series in collection, over a thousand figures from different shows and movies, and AT LEAST 3 COSPLAY OUTFITS!

6:44

Cravitus

(where is lurk when we need him

6:44

Loniceran

(certified Speedwagon and 6 star weeaboo

6:44

Lil Peridot

Mario: What?

6:44

Loniceran

Uestox: "YOU WANNA FIGHT?!"

6:44

Cravitus

Ave: "Exposition."

6:44

Lil Peridot

(lurk left because he's busy stalking that once person

(or whatever

(one*

6:45

Invader Jib

Jib: I'll have you know I directed like three anti-romance propaganda movies

6:45

Lil Peridot

(idk if he's gonna come back

6:45

Cravitus

Talbolt: "Alright, now listen up!"

6:45

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: I'LL FIGHT YOU!

6:45

Cravitus

Talbolt: "Now I'm sorry I've yanked you out of your usual squads, but we've got a situation here."

6:45

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: With my online persona of course!

Hatbot: He's pretty cool.

6:46

ButterflyMask

(hatbot: his name is tobtah! thats hatbot backwards

6:46

Lil Peridot

Mario: Uhm -- Tlabot.. is it? I don't know what you're talking about-..

(lol

6:47

Loniceran

Uestox: "..My expertise in LARPing will settle this," he said to himself.

6:47

Cravitus

*The helicopter dipped low, and flew over dark waters, seemingly over open ocean.*

6:47

Loniceran

(i read that as dank watters

6:47

ButterflyMask

(dank waters

6:47

Lil Peridot

(omg XDD

6:47

ButterflyMask

(lurk is slowly coming back

6:48

Cravitus

Talbolt: "A couple weeks ago, we lost contact with one of our intel teams in the Guarven island chain."

6:49

Loniceran

Uestox: "I understand," he perks up at the speakers. "So you chose us to retrieve them?"

6:49

Cravitus

Talbolt: "No, actually, as far as we know, they've been wiped out."

Talbolt: "Pretty bad, actually."

MysteriousTriangleguy has joined the chat. 

6:49

ButterflyMask

(hey triangle

6:49

Loniceran

Uestox: He acts surprised and shocked. "Oh..."

6:49

Cravitus

Talbolt: "However, you ARE going to take up their mission."

6:49

Loniceran

(we summoned him

6:49

Invader Jib

 Jib: I don't know what any of this is about

6:49

ButterflyMask

(yea

6:49

Cravitus

(lurk

6:49

Invader Jib

(the power of the dank waters

6:49

Lil Peridot

(he rose out of the dank waters

6:50

Cravitus

(mario

6:50

Loniceran

(the dank waters allowed his ascension

6:50

Cravitus

(inform lurk of the weeaboo larp uesocks

(*uestox

6:50

ButterflyMask

(the dank waters were his resurrection

6:50

Loniceran

(not again-

6:50

ButterflyMask

(omg

6:50

Loniceran

(uestox is an expert on Jojo, he'll get them out of this

6:50

Cravitus

Ave: "So what was the mission?"

MysteriousTriangleguy has left the chat. 

6:51

Cravitus

Talbolt: "Investigating two things."

6:51

ButterflyMask

(noo

6:51

Loniceran

(we ran out of dank water

6:51

Lil Peridot

(uestox will just throw glitter at someone, and scream hamon attacks

6:51

ButterflyMask

(totally

6:51

Loniceran

(Uestox: hAMOOONNNN... OVERRRDRIVUUU!

6:51

Cravitus

Talbolt: "First off, the big one, we've had radiological alarms going off for a while on shipments over here."

6:51

ButterflyMask

(uestox: SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRIVEEEE

6:51

Lil Peridot

(jib: what

6:52

Loniceran

(Uestox: *animepoint* JOESTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

6:52

Lil Peridot

Mario: So we've gotta kill people? Pretty typical in these simulators...

6:52

Cravitus

Talbolt: "Coupled with the fact that our capitalistic ways aren't exactly smiled upon by these gents, and you get some worrying combinations."

6:52

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: MARIO! Get in character!

6:52

Invader Jib

Jib: That's pretty typical with life in general

6:52

Cravitus

Ave: "...What's a Capitalist-"

6:52

Lil Peridot

Hatbot: Sheesh! What's wrong with you man?

Hatbot: That was pretty out-of-character, you freakin' pleb.

Mario: Whatever..

6:52

Cravitus

Talbolt: "Second, they were looking for leads on a missing scientist- a mutual friend of ours, Ave."

6:53

Loniceran

Uestox: Ah, I know what Amerika is! "Understood..?"

6:53

Cravitus

Ave: "Entra."

Talbolt: "Yep."

Talbolt: "Now, they did reestablish contact with us a few days ago..."

Talbolt: "They gave us a location and a name, but that's all we got before they started to get hammered, and, well... Cleanup's not going to be quick, I'll tell you that."

Session 1 ended. Edit

Session 2 - N/A. Edit

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